A Dream VS A Career

Helloooooo person reading this :)

I hope that everything is just fine ;)

Well, yesterday was a REALLY tough one...like REALLY, REALLY, REALLY tough. Not only was I shocked by some news concerning the organisation of the curriculum, but also I had a DRAMATIC family quarrel over what I want to be in the future.

Yes, you heard it right! Apparently, democracy and voting works on my personal life too...

Anyway, I noticed something yesterday that has truly captivated my attention, and that was my parents are giving me (almost imposing on me) the ideas they desire, not what I desire.

Of course, I had this teenage, rebellious urge to do AGAINST what they desire me to be, but that will mean having a purpose for the sole goal of opposing my parents' wishes. The book 'الخروج عن النص' explains why one should never get into this slippery road. 

Teenagers think that they are being independent via rebelling. Ironically, that makes the person dependent on the object they are rebelling against.

If you can't picture the situation clearly, imagine two North poles facing each other.

 Needless to mention, they repel because they are alike. A North pole cannot repel WITHOUT having ANOTHER North pole. A teenager cannot build their so-called purpose WITHOUT rebelling against their parents; a passion ought to emerge from the heart. 

"What do I want to be FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART?" I thought to myself for a very long time.

Even though it wasn't crystal clear at first, I discovered that I have the potential of becoming an author; I own a GREAT passion for both writing and business.

What should I do? Aim for financial security or my dream? I'm not sure...

Personally, I have a suspicion that my dependency on writing might induce fear and greed more than passion. 

The love bond between a child and a parent is both biologically and emotionally existent, so it is an obvious exception. Anything biologically related is a definite exception for dependency and love to be directed to the same thing (for me). 

I decided that, for now at least, I can mix both...Somehow....

First, I will aim for financial security THEN aim safely for my dream.

BUT! There's a problem...

Humans are creatures of efficiency by nature, so the human mind is organised in such a way that it WILL REFUSE to do unnecessary work. 

Why should I eat when I am full? Why should I sleep when I literally woke up after 24 consecutive hours of sleep? Why should I work when I have money? Instead of doing unnecessary work, why not save that energy for something more important?

That's the trap that most people fall in. Why should I work to follow my dreams if I already have money?

Honestly, I find this trap the only reason why I am thinking so much about this. 

I found that Dostoevsky, a very famous author, would wittingly trick his mind and biology into writing the most profound novels. He did this by gambling all the money he gained out of a successful novel until he lost his last penny. Now, his mind has empowered him with a TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY to support the instincts of SURVIVAL by writing books. 

Surely, I have no intention of going to that extreme; however, observing successful authors doing that makes me realise how exceptionally arduous the problem actually is. 

There's a quote I heard but can't remember who said it, but it soothes me down a little.

     "Noticing the problem solves 60% of it."

I hope that I can actually find a solution to that obstacle without going to the extremes. 

Wish me luck! And good luck with your unique life journey :)